Sakura's Big Geisha Adventure
by KAHNDetective27
Summary: In an alternate universe where women are rarely allowed to become ninjas, Sakura is kicked out and moves into an okiya. There she meets many new friends and foes and uncovers a strange secret about herself.
1. The Proposition

I recently went back and looked at my legacy story stats and found that this was my second most viewed fic, (second only to the Homestuck one, which I didn't write) which is a shame when you consider that I wrote this steaming pile of horse shit at the age of twelve. I was pissed when I saw reviews that said that I was trying too hard, but that's exactly what I would say to twelve-year-old me. "You're trying too hard, none of the dialogue feels natural, the chapters are too short and nothing ever actually happens in them (although they do seem to be structured more like scenes in a play, as all of the events take place in the same location) and your descriptors suck." I feel embarrassed reading this fic; I can't bring myself to do much more than skim. So, if you stumbled upon this while searching for your geisha stories and whatnot, go ahead and read it. If you actually find that you like this pile of trash (and I won't fault you for liking trash. I happen to be particularly harsh on my own work just because it doesn't live up to the standard of quality that I have today) then let me know if you'd like to read more. I would be happy to begin the rewriting process!

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Chapter 1: The Proposition

"I'm gonna do what?!" Sakura shouted in shock. Her parents had just told here a trivial bit of news.

"You're moving out." Said her father. Okay, maybe it wasn't so trivial.

"I still don't understand. I'm only seven years old!"

"Tomorrow, you will be going to an okiya where, over the course of many years you'll learn to become a geisha." Her mother said. The way she spoke was as if she was pulling punches, trying to fight the urge to yell. Unfortunately, Inner-Sakura just broke free from that small confined space in Sakura's mind.

"So I'm gonna become some – some –"

"Performer."

"Not the word I would have chosen, but yes, basically." Said her father.

"Yes, but what about my friend, Ino?" Sakura asked, a little bit calmer now.

"She's going to live at the same okiya." Her mother responded.

"But the problem is, that I don't want to go. I always wanted to become a ninja."

All of a sudden, her parents started laughing uncontrollably. "You know just as well as I do that only men can become ninjas, unless the parents approve, such as, for example, Tsunade-sama, or Rin-san."

"So, does that mean –?"

"No," They said in perfect unison.

"We are afraid that you might get killed during a mission."

"But that's unfair!"

"No it's not. If you were meant to become a ninja in the grand scheme of things, then you would be a boy."

"Or I would have much more soft-hearted parents."

"Look. Jiraiya-sama will come in the morning, and I expect you to be ready to go by the time he gets here.

"But –"

"Go upstairs and pack. You're gonna have to leave in the morning."

"Fine." She said. She stood up and walked up the stairs.


	2. The Departure

Saku Geisha

Chapter 2: The Departure

The next morning, Sakura anxiously got out of bed. She went downstairs, suitcase in hand, and walked up to the door.

"Hold on, dear" Sakura's mother said, "I want you to remember: When you become an apprentice, go to the Yuri Teahouse on your birthday." and she gave her a kiss and a shove out the door.

Just then, Jiraiya pulled up in his convertible. In it was Ino, waiting for Sakura to take a seat next to her in the back and on the radio, he was playing AC/DC "C'mon, Sakura!" He shouted, "We don't have all day."

Sakura was just standing in front of her house. She didn't want to leave.

"HURRY UP SAKURA-CHAN!" Ino shouted from the back seat, "BEFORE HE STARTS PLAYING THE BIG BALLS SONG AGAIN!!!"

Her brain suddenly woke up. She reluctantly put her bags in the trunk and got in.

"Now that's better." Jiraiya said.

"So, where exactly is this okiya, Jiraiya-sama?"

"It's just outside of town, around where the hot springs are."

"Oh, that far?"

"Yep."

After that, Ino started a conversation with Jiraiya. On this very sunny day, she could see many things from in the car, as she left them to their conversation. She saw many places from when she was much younger, such as the fountain in the center of town, where she was found after being lost, or the city gate, where she first saw Uchiha Sasuke, or the second most amazing natural wonder of all time (next to Mount Rushmore), the Hokage monument (well, not really a natural wonder, but it's still amazing) which isn't really that hard to see, seeing as how it's on the mountain that overlooks the village.

After about twenty minutes, Ino nudged her, "Hey, are you awake?"

"Huh?" Sakura came out of her trance, "Yeah, what?"

"You're just sitting there…"

"Well, maybe I like looking out the window. I just want to get a nice long look at this part of the village. We're going to a completely different district. It might be a while before I see it again."

"Hn, good point." She started talking to Jiraiya, "Hey, Jiraiya-sama! Can we play a different CD?"

"Okay, I've got some… Green Day, Ace of Base, The Who, Bon Jovi, Gogol Bordello, The Beatles, ABBA, Blink 182, Asian Kung-Fu Generation, Orange Range, Zeppelin –"

"Put on some Zeppelin."

"Which album? I got 1-4, Houses of the Holy –"

"Number 4!!!"

"Okay," He put the CD in.

The song began, the short little overture began running around in the air around their heads, then the lyrics started, "There's a lady who's sure, all that glitters is gold, and she's buying a stairway to heaven. When she gets there she knows if the stores are all closed, with a word she can get what she came for." Sakura hung onto every word, as if there was nothing else in the world than that song, "And she's buying a stairway to heaven. There's a sign on the wall, but she wants to be sure, 'cause you know sometimes words have two meanings. In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings, 'sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven!'" As the song picked up, she thought her predicament wasn't quite so bad.

"Oooh, it makes me wonder. Oooh, makes me wonder. There's a feeling I get when I look to the west, and my spirit is crying for leaving. In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees and the voices of those who stand looking. Oooh makes me wonder. Oooh, really makes me wonder. And it's whisper that soon if we all call a tune. Then the piper will lead us to reason. And a new day will dawn for those who stand long, and the forests will echo with laughter." As the short interlude passed by, Sakura started humming along. "If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now, it's just a spring clean for the May Queen. Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on. And it makes me wonder. Oh! Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know, the piper's calling you to join him. Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow? And did you know, your stairway lies on the whispering wind."

It was at this point that Sakura actually broke out into song herself. "And as we wind on down the road! Our shadow's taller than our soul! There walks a lady we all know!" Suddenly Sakura stopped dead when she noticed that Ino was looking at her funny.

"I didn't know you knew this song…"

"Yeah, my dad always used to play it when he thought everyone had gone to bed." Sakura said with a small voice as the rest of the song played in the background. She stayed quiet throughout the rest of the car ride.

When they arrived half an hour later, there was a woman, standing outside of the house they pulled up to, wearing a beautiful kimono. "Ohayo, my name is Yukie. Welcome to the Kitsumo Okiya."


End file.
